There is a new book out by author Peggy Orenstein entitled "Cinderella Ate My Daughter". Which in my humble opinion is one of the greatest book titles ever. It documents the rise of the "uber girlie girl" trend in children today, from Disney Princess overload to kiddie pageant madness.
I've noticed a different but equally pervasive trend amongst the grown children of my generation. Many of us who are now Second Act empty-nesters have discovered that although we raised our children in a fairly liberal, free-thinking, somewhat tree-hugging, tolerant, non-materialistic way, that is not the life our children seek for their own futures. Our children do not want to model our lives, they want our parents' lives.
Or rather, they want what they perceive our parents' lives to have been. I know my daughter and her friends have a special affinity for the 50's housewife archetype. My concern is that this perception is largely based on television and romantic nostalgia for "good old days" that never really existed.
So allow me to shed some light on The Great Generation, kids.
The Great Generation didn't just happen. Rather, it was forged and tempered by hardship, war, and volatile social change. This is the generation who grew up during the deprivation of the Great Depression and then went on to fight in World War II. Those whose productivity within the war's home front made a decisive material contribution to the war effort. Tom Brokaw wrote in his 1998 book The Greatest Generation, "It is, I believe, the greatest generation any society has ever produced." He argued that these men and women fought not for fame and recognition, nor for oil or religion, but because it was the right thing to do. When they came back they rebuilt America into a superpower. All true. However the reality is that the conditions which created that generation just do not exist anymore.
And thank God for that.
My father was born several years prior to the stock market crash of 1929 and the onset of the Great Depression. He recalled many times how anxious he was not to be the last kid to "get out of short pants" on his block.
People pulled together as a community out of necessity. The "pot luck" dinner was popular at this time as a way for neighbors to pool their resources at a time when food was in short supply. Going hungry was common. My grandparents' house had been marked by hobos and transients as a place where you could get a plate of food at the back door, because my grandmother could not turn anyone away hungry. All of this sounds terribly romantic, no?
Here's the other side. People were hungry. Men were deserting their families in droves to "go tramping" and left their wives and children to starve. Unemployment was over 25% and that does not take into account under-employment due to job rationing. It was the longest, most widespread, and deepest depression of the 20th century. Children were not highly valued "precious darlings," to be treasured and protected, as they are now. They were a commodity to help support the household and expected to work as soon as they were able. No free rides, not even for children. My father had his first job as a "soda jerk" at the age of 11. He handed every penny he earned over to his parents. He was forged by a work ethic that is very rarely seen anymore in America's current age of entitlement .
While Roosevelt's New Deal began recovery, the economy really didn't turn around until we went to war.
My father enlisted in the Army Air Corps (later to become the USAF) when he was 18. He wanted to fly airplanes. Unfortunately, his eyesight was not 100%, so that dream was not to be. When he reenlisted it was to join the legendary 101st Airborne, the Screaming Eagles. He was, and is, a hero in my eyes. That said, he never spoke of war as glorious or glamorous. It was not. He was a scared kid when he went and a different man when he returned. And he took nothing for granted, felt entitled to nothing. Ever.
On the home front women went to work in the factories and took over the jobs the men had left when they went off to fight. The war effort still had certain luxuries in short supply, and there was rationing but the economy was recovering. The war was good for the economy because, let's face it, a dead guy can't flip a burger or pump your gas. Just to clarify: war is not, and can never be, a good thing, even when is has sometimes been a necessary thing. It is a horrifying testament to man's inhumanity to man. People die. Lots of them. Horribly. I've never heard anyone who has actually been in real combat describe war as good or glorious. Ever.
Which brings us to post-war, the 1950's and early 1960's, the years so longed for by my children's generation. Due to the GI Bill and the rise of the Military Industrial Complex, as well as the changes in the workforce that gave rise to the birth of a service based economy (rather than a goods based economy), more people held white collar jobs (56%) than blue collar. It was the birth of the US middle class, which had heretofore been marginalized and was now the majority. Women returned to the home and men went to work. It was the era of Ward and June Cleaver. My mother, who happened to be named June, was one of these women.
We live in an age that ridicules the wholesome likes of Ward and June Cleaver. The thing is, once upon a time there were real Wards and Junes. But they were not perfect. Nor was the society in which they lived. It was pretty good if you were white, middle class and male. It pretty much sucked if you were outside that demographic. Minorities were second class. Women were second class. Poor people were to be ignored. Rich people were despised or envied. Gay people didn't exist, except in tightly sealed closets. But the real life Wards and Junes cared about things beyond their lovely homes and family cars. They raised the next generation, MY generation, to care about bigger things. More importantly, they raised us to get off our behinds and change things, or quit our griping. So we did.
The Baby Boomers, the sons and daughters of the Great Generation want a dream life for everyone, whatever that dream means to them personally. And that includes our sons and daughters who are nostalgic for their grandparents' lives.
What I would like to suggest to this generation? Take the best of the Great Generation: the grit, the work ethic, the stewardship of resources, the unwillingness to be wasteful, the joy of family, the sense of community, responsibility and good neighbor-ship. Lose the worst: the racism, the homophobia, the xenophobia, the resistance to change, the sexism. Then take the best of YOUR generation: the technology, the ability to think and act globally, the innovation, the vision of something bigger than yourself. Lose the worst: the sense of entitlement, the narcissism, the celebrity-worship, the materialism. And maybe, just a little, honor your parent's generation. The ones that brought about civil rights, choice for women, care for your planet, and the desire to make things better out of love for you.
Take all of the above and meld it into your generation's legacy. A legacy you can leave to your children.
Who will probably then turn around and long for my generation's life.
Go Fig.
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