Insane Courage, Embarrassing Bravery

The question I ponder more than any other most days is this: 

What makes the difference in the quality of people’s lives? 

Is there a single factor that shapes and controls our happiness or our destiny? 

Most people think that our history decides our destiny, that the past equals the future.  Well….. It can—but only if you live there.  Any study of history shows that the difference in the success or failure of human beings comes down to one thing: an ability to harness the power of decision, often in spite of crazy, adverse conditions. 

“Success and failure are not overnight experiences. It’s the small decisions along the way that cause people to fail or succeed. It’s the power of decision that led Rosa Parks to remain in her seat and state, “No, I will not go to the back of the bus.” It took a forceful decision to compel an unarmed man to stand in front of a tank at Tienanmen Square. It was the strength of decision that led President John F. Kennedy to declare that an American would be first to walk on the moon by the end of the 1960s. “

–Anthony Robbins

Making a decision only takes an instant – but as the quote above states- it requires courage- Just 20 seconds of insane courage, of embarrassing bravery.  It’s the vacillating, over thinking, and worrying that take weeks, months, or years. Once you have made a real decision – it’s instantaneous.  Follow through is the only possible option.

Example: Anyone who knows me knows I used to smoke cigarettes.  A lot. Chimneys had nothing on me.  I also had quit smoking eighty-four thousand times, unsuccessfully. Why? Because I didn’t really want to quit.  I used nicotine as my panacea for stress, my weight loss/maintenance program, my social awkwardness eliminator.  All this, despite the fact that I watched everyone in my family drop dead of heart disease.  I knew better, of course, but my addiction was stronger than any reason I could come up with to quit. It wasn’t until I started to value myself more and started to hate the way I felt, physically, that I made the real decision to quit smoking. I screwed up every bit of courage I had, reminded myself of the compelling reasons I had to quit (my children and grandchild, my health and well being) and I quit cold turkey. I have not picked up one cigarette since then and have no desire to smoke. Not even a tiny bit. Why? Because I’d made a real decision to look past the lies I was telling myself about how smoking was managing my stress, my weight, etc.  I suffered some physical withdrawal symptoms for about a month and then it was over.  I am no more stressed than I was while I smoked. I have not gained an ounce; in fact I’m in far better shape than I ever was.  It was all self-deception. Once I shifted my focus on to gaining good health, instead of losing my ‘pacifier’, being smoke-free became second nature.  I felt extremely powerful and was able to build on that success to make more and more empowering decisions for my life.

Let’s be honest here:  decision is the ultimate power—and there are three core decisions each of us makes every moment of every day. These decisions have the capacity to empower, advance, frustrate or derail us, depending on what we choose:

Decision: What are you choosing to focus on?

Remember that what you place your attention upon is what expands in your life. Do you focus on things you’re excited about, your goals, projects or passions?  Do you focus on things you fear?  Do you “what if” yourself into fear paralysis? Wherever your focus goes, your energy flows.

Decision: What does this mean?

Is the situation you are currently experiencing the end or the beginning? Do you live in a world where you are being punished or rewarded? The minute you decide to focus on something, you give it a meaning. Your definition of any event produces emotion about that event and determines how you feel about it going forward.  But YOU choose what it means.  Your friend didn’t call you back could mean they hate you, could mean they’re busy.  Without talking to them, where does your head automatically go? We need to change the default settings of our thinking to the most positive possibility instead of the most negative.

Decision : What are you going to do about it?

Bottom line: are you going to give up or follow through? The meanings we assign to our life events influence the actions we take as a result. A real, deep-down decision is always preceded by that 20 seconds of insane courage, and is always followed by action, however small.  It’s our decisions, not our conditions that shape the ultimate quality of our lives. The decision you make, right now, can change the course of your life forever.

Be Brave.

Decide.

Act.

Succeed.

 I’ll be right here, cheering you on!