Repost: 3 Radical Steps to Managing Radical Change

Repost- I first wrote this three years ago -
I thought it needed a revisit.


So, you've had a radical change in your life.
You lost your job.
Your relationship ended.
You've relocated and have no new support system.
(Insert your big change here)
 And you feel ...unwell... scared... lost....just wrecked.
Now what?

As easy as it would be to make a permanent date with Ben and Jerry and hole yourself up literally and figuratively from all of humanity forever... I think we both know that isn't a viable option, long term. So enjoy your Chunky Monkey, mourn what it is that you have lost, and when you get sick and tired of being sick and tired...Get Radical!

 

 

 

3 Radical Steps to Managing Radical Change

 

1. Radical Self Care

You have to start with the basics. You've been dealt a big blow by life and you are allowed to care for yourself.  More than that, it is imperative that you care for yourself. You are in the process of refilling the well and it happens on no one's timetable but yours.

The very first thing that can help is to set healthy boundaries. Because you lost your job does NOT mean that you are now available to babysit everyone's children, walk their dogs, house sit or clean their closets. Because you are now single does not mean that you are to be set up with everyone's cousin/brother/best friend. Because you are going through a change does not mean you have to listen to, or take on others' opinions or judgements of you and your situation.  "No" is not a four letter word. Keep close those unconditional supporters in your life and let everyone else know you are in a rebuilding phase.

Radical care of the body is key. As much as we are all lovers of Ben and Jerry, sooner or later one must break up with them and start to feed yourself. Well. You are fueling the vehicle you use to move through life, and there is no trade-in option. Get a tune up with your doctor. Exercise for health AND sanity. Multiple studies have shown regular exercise to be as good or better than antidepressants in relieving mild to moderate depression. Take care of you in the most basic way first.

Radical emotional care means you have to change your self-talk. If you are not nice to you, who will be? This does not mean caving in and affirming every little emotion that comes along. Remember, your habitual self talk probably isn't very kind to you right now. Specifically, "I've failed. I'm not good enough. I'll never find love. I'm never going to make new friends.Things like this always happen to me." and the like. Catch yourself in this self talk and ask yourself - "Is this really true?" Then flip the script. You haven't failed unless you've stopped trying for anything. You gained valuable lessons from this experience. If nothing else, you know what doesn't work. You won't find love or new friends? Honey, there are seven billion people here on Planet Earth. Surely some of them will have an affinity for you and vice versa. Perhaps widening your scope would be a good idea. Things like this always happen to you? Do you lose a job every single day? Do you leave a relationship every day? Are you relocating daily? Hardly. So these things don't always happen to you, do they? Start talking to yourself like you would talk to your best friend. "Beloved, this is just a set back, a minor glitch in the grand scheme of your life. Your loss was only to make way for something bigger, better and more fulfilling that the Universe has in store for you! Get excited!" (At least, that's what I would say to my best friend.) Give yourself a break.

 

2. Radical Action

Once you have replenished your resources a bit, it's time for radical action. You will know when that time comes by a relentless restlessness, by ideas waking you up in the middle of the night, by a need for movement.

Radical action is different for each of us. For some it is going out there and getting another, better job. For others it is signing up for a dating sight. For me it was restructuring my life so as not to work 9-5, to pursue my art while finding ways to make ends meet using my art. For some it's leaving absolutely everything behind and starting from scratch. It really doesn't matter what the radical action is, as long as it breaks the habitual pattern. Remember the old saying "If all you ever do is what you've always done; all you'll ever get is what you've always gotten." Get fearless. Challenge yourself. Step out of the comfort zone. Recognize that what looks like happiness to you may not match what's considered "normal" by your friends and family. Get OK with being perceived as different or eccentric or even the 'bad guy'. This is your journey. At the end of the day the only perception you have to live with is yours. Be aware that 'security' is an illusion. Any one of us, in a moment, could lose everything or face a life-changing event that was completely unforeseeable. Embrace uncertainty, make it a friend, and then you can begin to manage your reactions to the unforeseeable in a positive way.

 

3. Radical Surrender

There's that word again. Surrender. This doesn't mean giving up. It means freeing yourself from worrying about things you never had control over in the first place. It means forgiving people, not because what they did was OK, only that you'd rather not carry the burden of resentment anymore for something that's already in the past. It means detaching from outcomes and just giving yourself over to the work, the relationship, the journey and having faith that where you end up will be precisely where you were supposed to end up. Relinquish the desire to make others respond or behave the way you think they should. They are on their own journey, with their own lessons to learn. It is not your business to dictate their steps. As I've said for many years, "You can't tell grown people what to do." Your only decision is whether to walk with them or not. If not, send them love and light and let your paths diverge.

Just let go. You don't have to drive everyone's bus.
Finally, get grateful. Gratitude and depression cannot occupy the same space. When you start looking around for things to be grateful for in life, guess what happens? More things for which to be grateful start to show up. And it grows exponentially. You don't have to believe me, try it for 30 days, it will prove itself to you.

Before you know it, you will find yourself in a brand new place, perhaps one you never expected to see. And you will be able to say, as my friend Judie said today, "No matter what the future holds, I will greet it with open arms and be the best person I can be." 

Thanks Judie, for inspiring today's post. You are my Ambassador of Rad.

Repost: Guarding Your Vision

This is a repost from October 2012 that I very much needed to revisit.
Thought perhaps some of you may need a reminder as well.
Namaste.



Vision.

Your vision.

What is it you want to manifest into the world?

Let’s brainstorm.

Be specific.

Is it your own restaurant, a book, a film, a family life, a business?

Is it traveling the world, living in a mansion, driving an Italian sports car, flying a jet?

What does it look like, feel like, smell like, sound like?

What is your vision for your best life?

Many people answer this question with “Well, my vision is just to get the bills paid on time, to get by.” Nope. Sorry, I’m going to have to call BS on that statement. That is not your vision. That is no one’s vision. That is simply the circumstances for which you and I and so many others have been conditioned to settle. There’s nothing wrong with paying the bills on time but that is only a stepping stone to your real vision. Think bigger. 

It’s ok – this is just between you and me. 

Actually this is just between you and you.

The importance of having a vision is in its power to move you. A vision will pull you forward. A vision will pull you out of depression. A vision will keep you going under the most grueling of circumstances. Don’t take my word for it. Pick up a copy of Viktor Frankl’s “Man’s Search for Meaning”. Reading that book is life changing. If you’re more of a movie buff, go and rent the gorgeous “La Vita e Bella” (Life is Beautiful).  The message is the same. Your vision is more powerful than your external circumstances. Your vision will keep you moving and pull you forward. So go ahead. Think big. Think HUGE.  Make a vision board. Put it on your Pinterest. Scrapbook it.  Journal about it. Your vision is only for you.

Let me say that again: Your vision is for you. Here’s a really cool thing about the Universe, God, Krishna, Louise, whatever you call your Source (for our purposes we’ll say God, because it’s the easiest to type). Pay attention now:

If God gives you the vision, God will give you the provision.
 

God is not going to send your provision through your sister’s vision, or your friend’s vision, or your mom’s vision of how it can be accomplished. Your vision is for you.

This means that after all the vision-creation and praying, you have to get up off your knees, get up off your ass and begin moving in the direction of your vision. The responsibility is yours. Take a course; get a part time job in your new field. You must do the thing that scares you. Do you know what happens if you don’t step out of your comfort zone? Nothing. A whole lot of nothing.

That being said, you must also guard your vision. You don’t take a premature baby out of the womb or the incubator and show her to all and sundry. “Look! Look at this baby I’m incubating! When she’s all ready to be born, she’s going to be something!” You don’t expose your little baby-vision to all the germs and cooties and negativity that some people might rain down on her little head. She won’t survive, and then you’ll be heartbroken for the rest of your life. No, rather you guard her, protect her and only expose her to those whom you know for sure will nurture and protect your baby vision, just as you would. You get around those who will support your vision and help her grow until she is ready to be birthed into the world. Finding support is relatively easy in the information age – it’s a big internet out there, people- and if you have a vision, guaranteed someone out there has a similar one. Google it.

The flip-side of that is you must also protect your vision from what I like to call the “Crazymakers”. These are the people who will crap all over your vision, not because they don’t love you, (many of them will be your close friends and family) but because they just don’t get it, and that’s ok. Your vision is for you. It’s not for them; however your little baby vision must be protected from them at all costs. They are not in line with your vision for any number of reasons, usually traceable back to their own childhood programming and damage. Don’t be mad, it has nothing to do with you. Many Crazymakers are fearful that if you achieve your dreams they’ll be left behind; or it will point out to them how they gave up on their vision. Regardless, they come at you with their own agendas that have nothing to do with nurturing your vision. You must not expose your vision regularly to those who are not in line with its manifestation or it will die.
It. Will. Die.  Guarding it is your responsibility.

There are five types of toxic people that are absolute dream killers. I’m sure you know at least one of them. Some people are combinations of two or more of these types. If they’re in your family or circle of friends, by all means, love them, honor them, but for your own sake, don’t share your dream with them. Let them be dazzled when your dream manifests in all its glory.

The Complainer
This person likes to hear his own voice. He constantly complains about what isn't working in his life and yet gets energy from complaining and dumping his frustrations on you and other people. Nothing is ever his fault. He’s been cheated, mistreated, misunderstood and done wrong. And it’s everyone’s fault but his.

The Vampire
This is the needy person who constantly calls to ask for your guidance, support, information, advice or whatever she needs to feel better in the moment. Because of her neediness, the conversation often revolves around her, and you can almost feel the life being sucked out of you during the conversation. Four words you’ll rarely hear her utter: “So, how are YOU?”

The Shamer
This person is hazardous to your health. Run; don’t walk to the nearest exit. The shamer will cut you off, put you down, reprimand you, or make fun of you or your ideas, almost always in front of others. He often ignores your boundaries and will try to convince you that this criticism is for your own good. His favorite saying is, “Well, I’m just being honest.” The shamer is the kind of person who makes you question your own sanity before his. His agenda is to build himself up by embarrassing you.

 The Devil’s Advocate
This is the person who discounts or takes exception to everything you say. Often, she has a strong need to be right and gains energy by finding fault with another’s position. It is really quite exhausting to have a conversation with this contentious person, so eventually you end up giving in and deciding to just listen. Then you end up avoiding them out of plain old weariness.

The Town Crier
This person tries to create a sense of intimacy by talking with you about others, behind their backs. They want you to feel privileged to be “in the know”. The Town Crier gets energy from relaying stories, opinions, and the latest "scoop." By gossiping about others, he creates a lack of safety in his relationships, whether he realizes it or not. After all, if he'll talk about someone else, he'll talk about you. Your inside stuff and more importantly, your vision, simply aren’t safe with this person.

Vision.

Your Vision.

What is it that you want to manifest into the world?

See it, feel it, smell it, touch it, taste it.
Most of all, protect it. 
It's your baby.

I will leave you today with an old, Italian joke:

A man goes everyday to church and kneels before the statue of St Francis of Assisi. “Francesco” he pleads, “Please, please, please, help me to win the lottery!”For weeks and weeks, he goes every day to the statue, and on his knees, begs:

“Please, please, please, help me to win the lottery!”

Finally after months of begging, St Francis comes to life, steps down off his pedestal and says to the man:
“My son, please, please, PLEASE…… buy a ticket!”

Your vision is your ticket.

Go get it.

Finding Beauty in the Mundane

Hello Darlings!
So I've been a bit blocked and doing some excavation. In digging through my past writings, I found a series of exercises I did during one particularly brutal bout of writer's block.
One exercise in particular caught my attention. 
I thought it rather good, if I may say so. 

Even though it is years old, it speaks to my current belief that part of my mission in life is to inspire people to be better. Not to do more, to be better. Not to have more, but to be better. Inside. I firmly believe the road to that goal is paved in moments. Everyday, mundane, ain't-no-big-thing moments. 

So I'm sharing one with you that I think is pretty relatable. 

Prompt: Write 400-500 words about a less than remarkable aspect of your life.

  Laundry.

 

It’s heavy. The basket, I mean. I look down the murky stairwell of my ivory tower and sigh at the thought of descending, step by burdened step, out into the irksome damp. I wish for the grace of those straight backed African women who can fluidly tip a basket to the top of their head and stride boldly with swinging arms. I am not so graceful. So, I schlump down the steps, listing like a drunken sailor, and fall out the front door. Juggling basket, soap and big hips, I cross the street. Moving as if shackled, I trudge up the ramp into the Laundromat and collapse in a heap of weariness and my son’s BVD’s.

Breathe. Just get it done.

Fetch a big, wheely basket and transfer the tangled mess of jeans and hoodies/ Load the machines: light, dark, colors, three in a row. Add soap and quarters, and breathe. 

In the bottom of the basket is a book. Excellent. Sit on beach blue molded plastic and transport to somewhere else. Outstanding.

The damned buzzer rings. Stupid, shrill call back to here. Drag up and back to the wheely basket to dredge the soggy lump down and skate over to the cavernous dryer. Brush off the sudden urge to climb in there in the hopes that it’s actually a teleportation device, cleverly disguised. Load damp clothes in, insert quarters, go! Breathe.

Back to the awkward chair and the book. Gone. No smell of bleach remains. No rumble of machinery, no coughing old man can penetrate the force field of gorgeous prose that enters through my eyes and insulates me utterly. Longer, this time, the respite before the cranking whine of the slowing dryer calls me back. Look lingeringly at the page and, sighing, arise to unwanted duty.

Open the door. Roll away the stone. Suddenly I’m fogged over in the enveloping scent of clean and warm. Breathe in. It’s good. Move the suddenly unburdensome burden to the chest high table and begin to make order of the chaos.  Jumbled pile of color becomes pristine stripes of folded precision. This isn’t so bad. Suddenly, there are only skyscrapers of warm, perfect clothes.

Carefully place each square in the basket. Breathe. Lift the weighty, clean smelling basket onto one big hip and stride back across the street, soap swinging from the free arm. Smile.

Perhaps grace in motion is a state of mind after all. Ascend lightly the stairs from dark into light and place careful rectangles at the foot of each bed. Wonderful emptiness in the basket, except for the battered book. 

Excellent. 

Breathe. 

"Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.
After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water." ~Zen Proverb

Namaste, 

Shanna

Insane Courage, Embarrassing Bravery

The question I ponder more than any other most days is this: 

What makes the difference in the quality of people’s lives? 

Is there a single factor that shapes and controls our happiness or our destiny? 

Most people think that our history decides our destiny, that the past equals the future.  Well….. It can—but only if you live there.  Any study of history shows that the difference in the success or failure of human beings comes down to one thing: an ability to harness the power of decision, often in spite of crazy, adverse conditions. 

“Success and failure are not overnight experiences. It’s the small decisions along the way that cause people to fail or succeed. It’s the power of decision that led Rosa Parks to remain in her seat and state, “No, I will not go to the back of the bus.” It took a forceful decision to compel an unarmed man to stand in front of a tank at Tienanmen Square. It was the strength of decision that led President John F. Kennedy to declare that an American would be first to walk on the moon by the end of the 1960s. “

–Anthony Robbins

Making a decision only takes an instant – but as the quote above states- it requires courage- Just 20 seconds of insane courage, of embarrassing bravery.  It’s the vacillating, over thinking, and worrying that take weeks, months, or years. Once you have made a real decision – it’s instantaneous.  Follow through is the only possible option.

Example: Anyone who knows me knows I used to smoke cigarettes.  A lot. Chimneys had nothing on me.  I also had quit smoking eighty-four thousand times, unsuccessfully. Why? Because I didn’t really want to quit.  I used nicotine as my panacea for stress, my weight loss/maintenance program, my social awkwardness eliminator.  All this, despite the fact that I watched everyone in my family drop dead of heart disease.  I knew better, of course, but my addiction was stronger than any reason I could come up with to quit. It wasn’t until I started to value myself more and started to hate the way I felt, physically, that I made the real decision to quit smoking. I screwed up every bit of courage I had, reminded myself of the compelling reasons I had to quit (my children and grandchild, my health and well being) and I quit cold turkey. I have not picked up one cigarette since then and have no desire to smoke. Not even a tiny bit. Why? Because I’d made a real decision to look past the lies I was telling myself about how smoking was managing my stress, my weight, etc.  I suffered some physical withdrawal symptoms for about a month and then it was over.  I am no more stressed than I was while I smoked. I have not gained an ounce; in fact I’m in far better shape than I ever was.  It was all self-deception. Once I shifted my focus on to gaining good health, instead of losing my ‘pacifier’, being smoke-free became second nature.  I felt extremely powerful and was able to build on that success to make more and more empowering decisions for my life.

Let’s be honest here:  decision is the ultimate power—and there are three core decisions each of us makes every moment of every day. These decisions have the capacity to empower, advance, frustrate or derail us, depending on what we choose:

Decision: What are you choosing to focus on?

Remember that what you place your attention upon is what expands in your life. Do you focus on things you’re excited about, your goals, projects or passions?  Do you focus on things you fear?  Do you “what if” yourself into fear paralysis? Wherever your focus goes, your energy flows.

Decision: What does this mean?

Is the situation you are currently experiencing the end or the beginning? Do you live in a world where you are being punished or rewarded? The minute you decide to focus on something, you give it a meaning. Your definition of any event produces emotion about that event and determines how you feel about it going forward.  But YOU choose what it means.  Your friend didn’t call you back could mean they hate you, could mean they’re busy.  Without talking to them, where does your head automatically go? We need to change the default settings of our thinking to the most positive possibility instead of the most negative.

Decision : What are you going to do about it?

Bottom line: are you going to give up or follow through? The meanings we assign to our life events influence the actions we take as a result. A real, deep-down decision is always preceded by that 20 seconds of insane courage, and is always followed by action, however small.  It’s our decisions, not our conditions that shape the ultimate quality of our lives. The decision you make, right now, can change the course of your life forever.

Be Brave.

Decide.

Act.

Succeed.

 I’ll be right here, cheering you on!

So...Writers Write....Right?

Well hello there!
I know...I know.... I've been maintaining radio silence for way too long..... 
Ever since my brilliant friend Dave Ebersole and I declared 2013 to be "The Year Of Manifesting" (i.e. Publishing!) things have been alternately moving at light speed and getting roadblocked. 
It's truly been feast or famine.

I spent the first part of the year rewriting and performing in "Bad Cupid Cabaret" and writing my play "A Long, Long Way from Home". I was fortunate to have a staged reading in March at the Shubin Theatre, here in Philadelphia, featuring some of the finest actors in the area.  It was well received and I got valuable feedback . 
Feast!
And then my whole creative machine shut down. 


Oh, I did the kind of writing/editing that pays the bills. You know, cleaning up web content and making it pretty, etc. But I was not writing. 
 
I. Was. Not. Writing.
Not a word.
No morning pages.
No journal entries.
No stories
No plays.
No songs.
No nothin'.
It was excruciating.

Famine.


I diverted my focus caring for small children, cooking wonderful meals for my fella, getting a part time gig at a cosmetics store, supporting my fella in his budding acting career, spending way too much time on Facebook.... but I was not writing. Not MY writing, anyway.
Oh, hell and damnation!
I was blocked. 
Now what?

"Let it Go" - The Art of Surrender

Years ago, my BFF and songwriting partner, Mick Loro and I wrote a song called "Let It Go". The song was about surrender. Not the kind of surrender that says "I give up"; but rather the kind of surrender that says "I'm just going to show up, be present and let my obstacles be removed. I'm going to get out of my own head and be there for someone else, for the work, for whatever my soul calls for me to do, and let the results take care of themselves." My favorite line from that song goes: "Come, dance with me... there is great strength in 'we'..."

I needed to forget about "how" things were going to manifest and just get to manifesting. As Oliver Stone says; "Ninety percent of writing is ass + chair."

I had forgotten that. So, about a month ago, I went back to the beginning. I was thinking about my childhood and families in general. Remembering my brother and I listening carefully for how many saints my mother called upon when chastising us, so we would know just how much trouble we were in, I thought to myself, "Wouldn't it be funny if those saints just started showing up?"  Et Voila! My play "13 Saints", was born. A couple of weeks later, a conversation with a friend spurred an outline for a hilarious children's book series and the feast has begun again.

The upshot of all this is that sometimes our Second Act needs a second act, or a third, fourth or however many are required. There are no quotas on do-overs when you are following your passion. Redirection and refocus is an intelligent part of the process.
Very often all it takes are some very simple (simple not easy) steps to get out of your own way, and avoid the famine altogether.

Like these:

 

Get grateful. Seriously. This step alone is life changing. List 5 things you are grateful for every day. Don't make a mental list. Write them down. I don't know exactly why it works, it just does.

Get consistent. If you're a writer, write, every day. Even if it's complete crap. It's a muscle. It atrophies with disuse. If you're a singer, sing; if you're a painter, paint; if you're a mommy, pour all your energy into creative parenting, if you're a bricklayer, lay some flippin' bricks! You don't get good at something by NOT doing it.


Meditate. That's right, I said meditate. You don't have to go out and study under Deepak Chopra or anything (although, if you have the means, it's not a bad idea). Just spend 15-30 minutes a day getting still.  Be still and listen. Stop texting and listen. Shut your mouth and listen. Stop tweeting and listen. Stop posting on Facebook and listen. Hang up the phone and listen. Be still, and listen. Let the relentless chatter of busy-ness flow out, so something real and inspiring can flow in. You'll be amazed. Promise.

Surrender. You don't have to be religious or spiritual. Just allow for the possibility that maybe, there's something out there bigger than yourself that wants you to succeed as much or more than you do. Just show up for the work and get out of your own way.


It's good to be back.
It's the Second Act of my Second Act.

Here. We. Go.

Resolutions Schmesolutions...

Hello! Happy New Year!!

I know it's popular to make New Year's Resolutions and I'm all for setting goals. 
That said, haven't resolutions become kind of a symbolic promise that you know that you probably won't keep?
On  January 1st, we're all going to lose 10 pounds, stop smoking, stop nail biting, volunteer, go to the gym, etc. (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) which usually lasts until about January 15th, optimistically.

I'd like to offer an alternative, which is forming a plan to achieve what you really, really, really, really want. (Yes, all four 'reallys' are necessary.)

What is it You Really, Really, Really, Really Want?

ok - So you've set a goal, or several. Fantastic!
Now let's build some legs under it so it can take off, running!
Is it what you really, really, really, really want?
Here's how to tell:

Really #1 = Passion
For a goal to succeed, it requires more than intellectual processing, more than muscle and sweat. To be consistent, day after day, requires an investment of emotion! Fire! Passion! It all boils down to love. If your goal is to lose weight - following through will require you to love YOU and your health more than the cheesecake. (Tough choice, I know!) If your goal is to build your sideline business, you have to love it enough to turn off the TV and spend your valuable leisure time nurturing it like the little baby creation it is. (This often includes sacrificing sleep!) If your goal is to get strong and fit you have to love your body (and your loved ones) enough to put down the cigs, go to the gym every day and work through the awkwardness, the sweat, the soreness and discomfort in order to be stronger and healthier for your life and your family. This can't be some "I should" obligation. This kind of passion requires true love. Love for yourself and your dreams. Knowing that you are worthy of a success filled, passionate, joyous LIFE, not just a flat-line existence. Passion.

Really #2 = Vision
 "He stood in the presence of God, who gives life to the dead and calls into existence those things that do not yet exist." Romans 4:17
Those are some powerful words. 
And I remember, as a teenager, the first time I read them, thinking: "That is an instruction." I know I sound like a broken record - but it has been made evident to me over and over again that we, as humans, are never given a vision, without being given the provision to "call into existence those things that do not yet exist." It's the very nature of the creative impulse. Heck, it's the original Creative impulse. Every great thing invented, written, composed, achieved was first conceived by someone with a very clear vision.
Wayne Dyer wrote a book called "You'll See it When You Believe It." Read that again. It's not a type-o. It's not backwards. So go ahead- see it. Get a detailed picture in your mind of what achievement of your goal looks like. Is it running a marathon? (Can you see yourself crossing the finish line, covered in sweat and feel how shaky your legs are?) Is it giving up your day job and making a living at your true calling? Is it buying a new home? (What does it look like? Can you smell the cedar lined walk-in closet?) Is it financial security? Call it up! Call it into existence in your mind as real as if it were already done. Feel the feelings of success. (see above section on passion) What does it feel like? Enjoy those triumphant feelings right now. Make it real in your imagination. It's your vision.

Really #3 = Mastery
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. - Aristotle
This is the nuts and bolts of it all. Mastery is really a poetic word for repetition. Athletes know all about this. All athletes have drills that they perform daily until their bodies find those movements to be second nature. Musicians run scales until they no longer have to think about where the notes are. Writer/Director Oliver Stone has a sign over his desk that reads: "“Writing equals ass plus chair.”  This is where your passion and vision must sustain you through the boring bit.  I always told my children when they were small - "You don't get good at something by NOT doing it."  So do it. Even if you suck. Especially if you suck. If you persist with passion and vision, you will succeed. It's like potty training - it really isn't important how long it takes you to get it. It is very important that you get it. If it's your goal - keep plugging away. Time is your friend.  
Really #4 = Surrender
This is a tough one for many many people. This surrender is not about giving up. It's about knowing that you have the passion, the vision and you are doing the work. It's about relinquishing the "how" of it all and letting success show up on its own terms and not necessarily dressed up like you thought it would be. Releasing the need to control outcomes and surrendering to the flow of energy allows abundance to show up. Relative to what we think, we ask our intuition what we need to do to manifest the intention we hold. Then honor the intuitive guidance we get. Here we need to understand that the intuitive guidance we get may not be in line with our preconceived notion but the direction we need to travel is correct. It will get us to our goal. Surrender, know you are worthy of all good things and trust your gut.

Real change doesn't have to be hard and scary. 

You just have to really, really, really, really want it. 

 

Happy, Joyous, Abundant New Year!